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The Monday Morning Memo

Some readers were probably surprised to learn that Amanda spoke with a lisp. The author would be pleased to describe her lisp for you, although it will not be easy. Marx Marvelous observed that it was a Gene Tierney lisp, but pinker, more vulnerable. It was more of a Gloria Grahame lisp. Remember Gloria Grahame in The Big Heat? Her gangster boyfriend threw a pot of scalding coffee in her face. A noisy episode. Gloria Grahame didn’t lisp when she screamed. If you don’t remember Gloria Grahame (or even if you do), maybe you have heard of the Great Blondino. He was the Mozart of the tightrope, the Great Blondino. A child prodigy, Blondino was already a virtuoso of high-rope acrobatics at six. As an adult, he won fame for his repeated crossings of Niagara Falls. In the 1860’s he walked a rope over Niagara once on stilts, once with both feet in a sack. He hopped over with a man on his back while fireworks popped in the air about him. Once, he sat down on the rope, hundreds of feet above the roaring cataracts, and cooked and ate an omelet. Throughout his career of perilous performances, he never had a close call or sustained an injury. While walking a safe city sidewalk during a stay in Sydney, Australia, however, Blondino slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. Picture Amanda’s lisp as that banana peel.

– Tom Robbins, Another Roadside Attraction, p. 185-186

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