“A story is a kind of drug… It’s not just a state of high attention, it’s a state of high suggestibility.” “You are wielding massive power.  You wave your pen like a wand, cast a spell, the spell allows you to enter into other people’s brains.  Change how they think, change how they feel, […]

“Heroes are dangerous things. Bigger than life, highly exaggerated and always positioned in the most favorable light, a hero is a beautiful lie. We have historic heroes, folk heroes and comic book heroes. We have heroes in books and songs and movies and sport. We have heroes of morality, leadership, kindness and excellence. And nothing […]

  “Graduates, faculty, parents, relatives, undergraduates, and old people that just come to these things:  Good morning, and Congratulations to the Dartmouth class of 2011. Today you have achieved something special, something only 92% of Americans your age will ever know… a college diploma. That’s right. With your college diploma, you now have a crushing […]

August 13-14: Only 15 people will be allowed to attend an extremely special business class taught by Jeffrey Eisenberg. The wizard is hoping his young adult grandson can attend.

When I was 15 I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask voung people: Do you play sports? What’s your favorite subject? And I told him, no […]

Shlomo Yitzchaki, commonly known by the acronym Rashi, was a French rabbi who authored comprehensive commentaries on the Talmud and Hebrew Bible. Wikipedia   Born: February 22, 1040, Troyes, France   In 1096, Rashi witnessed the massacre of friends and family members at the hands of Crusaders en route to the Holy Land.   Died: July 13, 1105 (age 65 years), Troyes, […]

“Now they’ll say all these stories are terrible. Well, these stories have, you know, you heard my story in the boat with the shark, right? I got killed on that. They thought I was rambling. I’m not rambling. We can’t get the boat to float. The battery is so heavy. So then I start talking […]

Messengers Make Me Melancholy Any person who relays messages to you from the boss, is now your new boss. An excellent messenger might relay exactly what the big boss asked them to tell you, but only after they have reframed it, recharacterized it, and added their own slant. Every messenger does this. Whether they do […]

A Young Man Who is Not an Idiot “I’m all for proper research > strategy> objectives > positioning > campaign idea > tailored executions per platform. Until it comes to audio advertising… I’ve been lucky enough to research global audio and radio ad effectiveness, and I’ve become convinced that it’s such a damn powerful channel […]

  “Regarding advertising paying off based on how effectively it is targeted to the wants and needs of the individual… it varies from total SPAM to relevant content. I’m actually a fan of advertising that is artistically interesting, that is entertaining. Really, the acid test being that after you see the ad, do you regret […]

  My partner Leah Bumphrey is currently helping an insurance agent – for free – because he is a friend of a friend. She wrote me about some difficulties she is facing. This was my response. I hope you find it helpful – RHW: Leah, I have one observation and one question: Observation: Insurance agents […]

  If you stumble, just start dancing.  

Specificity is always more believable than generality.1. This is a great magazine ad.It’s full of specific people with actual names.(Thank you, Jeff Sexton, for sending it to us.)2. Below it is a generic, corporate video. Bah! Piffle and Poo on Clichésand Predictability!– Indy Beagle .

  “When folks want to romanticize Jim Crow… the living legend Reggie Jackson reminds us of what it looked like and how it felt to be Black during that period (1973). If this amazing man was treated in this manner, just think about how poor Black folks with no money, no fame, and no notoriety […]

When I talk about “the Pendulum of society” – the forces that have been meticulously moving western society back and forth between two extremes for the past 3,000 years – people in the U.S. always want to continue the discussion as though this is happening only in the United States. So I asked Google to […]

Does the personality of your website reflect the personality of your brand? Websites have existed for almost three decades. Yet precious few websites are aligned with that company’s advertising, social media, and point-of-sale experience. And even fewer websites incorporate language that appeals to each of the four major personality types. Vi Wickam, a digital ad […]

Fools rush in, so here I am, very glad to be unhappy. I can’t win, but here I am, more than glad to be unhappy.  Unrequited love’s a bore and I’ve got it pretty bad. But for someone you adore, it’s a pleasure to be sad.  – Lorenz Hart (1936) Glad to Be Unhappy.Music was composed by […]

  “I’m a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger, defying the laws of gravity.  I’m a racing car, passing by like Lady Godiva.
 I’m gonna go, go, go, there’s no stopping me. I’m burning through the sky – two hundred degrees – that’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit.  I’m traveling at […]

  A friend sent this meme to me and I sent it to 7 or 8 other friends, one of which I’ve known since 1992. Roy Laughlin and I have been calling one another “Other Roy” for 32 years. “Other Roy” lives in Hollywood Hills with his  famous wife, Ellen K., the first and only […]

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The old woman in this bank security photo handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw 10 dollars.” The teller said, “for withdrawals less than $100, please use the ATM. The old lady wanted to know why… The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “these are […]

Max Jukes             Jonathan Edwards Atheist/Agnostic     Preacher 540 descendants    1394 descendants 310 died as paupers      100 pastors 10 criminals        195 college graduates 7 murderers  65 college professors 100 alcoholics          60 authors Half of daughters prostitutes      60 military officers […]

  To Do List Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other. Wear shirt that says “Life.” Hand out lemons on street corner. Get into a crowded elevator and say “I bet you’re all wondering why I gathered you here today.’ Major in […]

This is a true story told to me by my sister-in-law and her husband. They went to dinner with some good friends. Those friends had a child named Hank. Hank had a thick head of very curly orange hair. Hank was 3 to 4 years old at the time. Hank was very well-behaved and a […]

Gwendolyn “Wendy” Bounds, an award-winning broadcast reporter, was an eyewitness of 9/11. In his book, September Twelfth: An American Comeback Story, roving reporter Rotbart describes Wendy Bounds as telegenically attractive, “with big chocolate-brown eyes, a sparkly broad smile, and shoulder-length buttery blond hair blended with honey highlights.” Today, the long-time desk jockey is ripped, with […]

  Most people see life as a linear progression, a canoe ride on the river of time. The scenery passes. The sun rises and sets. Occasionally there is a storm. It’s a tempting metaphor because we often think of time flowing like a river, and to see ourselves as passengers on that river is a natural […]

  Students at NYU asked the creators of South Park the million-dollar question: “What makes a good story?” They gave one of the best explanations of story I’ve heard: “If we can take the beats of your outline, and the words ‘and then’ belong between those beats… you got something pretty boring. What should happen […]

Morris-Jenkins is an unusual company in a very delightful way. When Casey Welch had the brilliant idea, “Let’s build an ice-cream truck and hand out free ice cream all over town every day,” CEO Jonathan Bancroft said, “Great idea!” And so it came to be. Does it surprise you that the 600 people who work […]

PART TWO Plane ride was smooth. We landed and when the bell rang I went to jump up and had forgotten to unhook my seatbelt. I fell over the guy seated next to me, causing him to spill his bottle of water down the front of his pants. By now I’ve said “I’m so sorry” […]

Flying to Boulder to see family.   This is what happens when you haven’t traveled for 7 years: I almost missed my Uber. Stumbled around checking in at the SW kiosk. Then went to drop off my bag and the attendant told me I’d skipped the line. WTF? Couldn’t find my flight on the Departures screen. I’m […]

Dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter. Your body makes it, and your nervous system uses it to send messages between nerve cells. That’s why it’s sometimes called a chemical messenger. Dopamine plays a role in how we feel pleasure. It’s a big part of our unique human ability to think and plan. It helps us strive, focus, and […]

  “Willie Nelson is a hippie in a cowboy hat.” – Indy Beagle “Abundance is a state of mind, more than a reflection of wealth.” – Judith Orloff

    Jeffrey Eisenberg and Tom Grimes keep the wizard and me laughing and thinking thoughts throughout the day. Everyone needs a Joe Davis and a Tom Grimes anda Jeffrey Eisenberg.

      Bathroom idea for an office or a tiny home.    

JEFF EISENBERG: “Religion must remain an outlet for people who say to themselves, ‘I am not the kind of person I want to be.’ It must never sink into an assemblage of the self-satisfied.” – Frank Herbert, DUNE TOM GRIMES: A number of years ago, the Catholic Church forbade the clergy to run for political […]

  “An Old English word for library was ‘böchord’, which literally means ‘book hoard,’ and honestly I really think we should go back to saying that because not only does it sound really cool, but it also sort of implies that librarians are dragons.” – dolohkov

    “If the giant you face is sleeping, and the dragon you face has died, and the windmill you see isn’t spinning, can this really be called an adventure?” “Without trouble, there is no adventure.” – Roy H. Williams

“The dragons are too many, Lord, and I am weary.” – Roy H. Williams, Sept. 8, 2013

  “Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” –  G.K. Chesterton, Tremendous Trifles, (1909)a paraphrase by Jeff Sexton of a paragraph from chapter 17   Every 5 or 6 years, The Wizards of Ads get new Partner photos […]

    “We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.” – Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker, p. 99

    “In the dark the other night I wrote in my head a whole dialogue between St. George and the Dragon. Very close relatives those two. Neither could exist without the other. They are eternally tied together – actually two parts of one whole… So St. George must always kill the dragon and it […]

“The timidity of the child or the savage is entirely reasonable; they are alarmed at this world, because this world is a very alarming place. They dislike being alone because it is verily and indeed an awful idea to be alone. Barbarians fear the unknown for the same reason that Agnostics worship it because it […]

  Well, it wasn’t so very long ago – only about twenty-three years. I was foreman of a factory, and he lived a thousand miles away, at Missouri Valley, Iowa. I was twenty-four, and he was fourteen. His brother was traveling for the Firm, and one day this brother showed me a letter from the […]

A Young Man Who is Not an Idiot “I’m all for proper research > strategy> objectives > positioning > campaign idea > tailored executions per platform. Until it comes to audio advertising… I’ve been lucky enough to research global audio and radio ad effectiveness, and I’ve become convinced that it’s such a damn powerful channel […]

Tom Grimes: Looks like they object to the dog smoking, drinking and skateboarding… that amazing dog belongs in Cirque du Soleil. Jeff Eisenberg: The person who made that sign is just jealous that their dog is such a dullard.

  “I tied a string to a doorknob around my brother’s loose tooth 25 years ago… the string broke and was stuck around his tooth for two weeks until it fell out.”– C0sm0cat

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there were more than a million unfilled jobs in restaurants at the end of March. Now I know why there is a still a long wait in restaurants that have a large number of tables open; there isn’t enough kitchen staff.

“Many times after one of my six-week classes is completed, a student, excited by what he or she has just learned, has said to me, ‘You should teach an advanced class!’ I am always flattered, but always a little surprised. Advanced? I know for a fact that they have not mastered the most basic principles, […]

There is something wrong with our universities. Where does Gen Z get wildly inappropriate ideas about reasonable salaries? Well, from school, of course. A survey of business owners – conducted by PublicSquare and RedBalloon – found that 91% believe universities “are fostering unrealistic expectations among students regarding post-graduation and professional life.” – Suzanne Lucas  

  Pop quiz, hotshot. Hackers have frozen you out of your own databases. They tell you that if you want back in, you have to pay them a ransom in the next 24 hours. Oh, and if you don’t want them to sell your clients’ data on the black market, that’s another hefty fee, too. […]

“If you’re not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.” – Zig Ziglar I speak often of paired opposites.Their power is demonstratedby the double-pair in the statements above.“not willing/determined”    “help you/stop you”– Roy H. Williams

  Ever since I found out that earthworms have taste buds all over the delicate pink strings of their bodies, I pause dropping apple peels into the compost bin, imagine the dark, writhing ecstasy, the sweetness of apples permeating their pores. I offer beets and parsley, avocado, and melon, the feathery tops of carrots. I’d […]

An MIT student dressed in a black-and-white striped shirt went to the Harvard football stadium every day of one summer, blowing a whistle while scattering breadcrumbs or birdseed to coax neighborhood pigeons down onto the field. At Harvard’s opening game of the season, upon the referee’s first whistle, it’s said that hundreds of pigeons descended […]

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“Walkin’ After Midnight”Margo on the banjo, Rachel buck dancing on the board. – Nonny Mouse         .

  One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we’ve been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We’re no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It’s simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we’ve been taken. Once you give […]

Jesus asked 307 questions of people that didn’t look like him, vote like him, or believe like him. Three hundred and seven marginalized people were asked a question: “Who do you say I am?” “How many loaves do you have?” “Why are you afraid?” “Where is your husband?” “Where are your accusers?” “What’s troubling you?” […]

  Seriously though, we’ve heard a lot about extremism recently; a nastier, harsher atmosphere everywhere; more abuse and bother-boy behavior, less friendliness and tolerance and respect for parents. Alright… but what we never hear about extremism is its advantages. Well, the biggest advantage of extremism is that it makes you feel good because it provides […]

“Consider for a moment the lives of Timothy’s heroes. Faulkner had come of age in the Jim Crow South, a time and place with its own idiosyncratic language and an abundance of majestic themes, including Family, Race, and the Land. Hemingway had been a journalist and driven an ambulance in the First World War before […]

  When business owners struggle, they often blame everyone but themselves. According to psychotherapist Steve McCready, they should be saying, “It’s not you, it’s me.” As a business coach, McCready spends all day, every day, erasing the root causes of business problems, including feelings of self-doubt and being overwhelmed. So get comfortable and find a […]

  “Eve couldn’t pinpoint when her dislike for lists began, but it must have been around the time she was twelve. It was in the basement of St. Mary’s, where she and the rest of the sixth graders were charged with memorizing the Ten Commandments. Thou shalt not this. Thou shalt not that. And thou […]

The Wise Men of Matthew ch. 2 were painted twice by Adolphe Joseph Thomas Monticelli (1824-1886). The image above hangs in a museum is Glasgow. The Monticelli below hangs in the wizard’s office. A pre-Impressionist, Monticelli’s work inspired Cézanne and Van Gogh, and marked the transition from Romanticism to Impressionism. Speaking of Monticelli in a […]

Rose Pogonias A saturated meadow, Sun-shaped and jewel-small, A circle scarcely wider Than the trees around were tall; Where winds were quite excluded, And the air was stifling sweet With the breath of many flowers,— A temple of the heat. There we bowed us in the burning, As the sun’s right worship is, To pick […]

I love the balloons that float like deities above the aisles at CVS, the balloons made of Mylar and ancient symbolism. These balloons are magic. These balloons, out in the world, will activate gratuitous nonmalignant forces. They’ll get you smiles, fist bumps, kisses, drinks. I once walked several blocks with a large balloon in the […]

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”– M. Scott Peck

The Lord’s Prayer… translated from Aramaic directly into English. Rather than from Aramaic to Greek to Latin to English (which most of us are used to from the King James version in Matthew ch 6.) O cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration,(Our Father in heaven,)soften the ground of our being and carve out a […]

“But let’s be very attentive to this; the fact that we are capable of thinking, reasoning… does not mean that we have forgotten about emotions. The emotions are still here. Feelings are still here. And they are accompanying everything we do.”– Professor Antonio Damasio, a neuroscientist at USC

“I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatsoever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. […]

The stereotype is that these protests were concentrated at expensive elite colleges but I didn’t realize the extreme extent to which that’s actually true. – Nate Silver

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Photo of Joe Davis, Aloha and Indy on the campus of Wizard Academy in 2015.

Here’s that story in 2nd Kings, chapter 2, if you want to read it.

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(#4) Skilled, (#3) Expert, (#2) Masterful, and (#1) Brilliant, is the ascending hierarchy of ability among talented business people. Brilliant is the realm where Simon T. Bailey operates, and now he is teaching others how to elevate their business abilities to that same level of performance. A former Disney sales executive, Simon T. Bailey has written […]

Jerry’s 53% Idea A successful mechanic shop brings in about $500,000 a year. But whether or not the shop owner makes any profit on that $500,000 isn’t determined by how good they are at repairing cars, but by how good they are at running a business. And even those shop owners who are good at […]