The King of Salem Once upon a time long, long ago, there was an old shepherd named Abraham. One day while his flock of sheep were feeding in his pasture, one of them wandered off into the forest.  When Abraham noticed that one was missing, he knew it must have wandered off into the forest, […]

A dog named Little Mountain Music and a harmonica was all Mig’s father left him before leaving. He headed towards better chances of finding gigs. Mom wasn’t around. She lived two towns over in Deadwood. She was working. He wasn’t old enough to know what kind of work, but old enough to know it was […]

Did the Poet Even Know It? December 30, 2019 It is the Christmas season…so why is my faith shaken?  Growing up, I couldn’t stand church camps or anything of the sort. Instead, I wanted to be outside, finding bugs, chasing animals and building forts. Yet, as I grow older and come to learn what life’s […]

600 words. I can do that. Easy. I wonder. 600 words. Such a random number. Or is it? Why not 500? or 300? Will 600 words prove to be the secret to a great story that’ll be revealed later? What’s the Wizard got up his sleeve?  I’m digressing. For some time I’ve had this idea for […]

Feathers “Sterling, do you like the present I brought you?”“Oh. Felix. It’s you again. What present?”“Come on Sterling, are you blind? It’s right at your feet.”“Oh no! No, No, No! That’s Robinson’s and Rosie’s egg, you dirty crumb-snatcher! Take it back. Take it back to their nest right now.”“Why? Ravens eat eggs. Especially bite-size blue […]

This is the photo book of the bicycle adventure last Christmas with Mia (inside the d of Wizard) and Jeffrey (wearing the XXXL helmet last worn by – this is true – Shaq O’Neal.) The wizard is behind the first A in Academy, and Princess Pennie is between the wizard and Mia. It’s a funny, […]

At the foot of the glacier I squat down in order to hear more loudly the percolation of meltwater from the glacier’s cold lip, the hissing bursts of air as small pockets within the ice release their stores of ancient atmosphere. With my head tilted this close, I can feel the glacier’s frigid exhalation against […]

“The reason radical changes in the human environment caused by the industrial revolution are so anxiety-producing is not that they keep us from predicting a benign future for ourselves. We’ve never been able to do that anyway. It’s that, apparently, major changes in Homo sapiens’s physical environment are occurring with what scientists believe is unprecedented […]

“In a bombing run over Kassel, Germany, Elmer Bendiner’s B-17 bomber was barraged by 20-millimeter shells which resulted in direct hits on their gas tanks. But none of the shells exploded. The next day, the maintenance chief found 11 shells inside the gas tanks, any one of which should have taken the plane down.  When […]

Downsizing Moving from a place picked out by hopes and dreams to a place selected by life and circumstances involves a balance of resiliency, and resignation. My dad and step mom lived in the same house for decades and it was easy to think they were still thriving there. We want things to stay the […]

I am writing from your future to let you know there is hope for you. The path will be treacherous and full of obstacles. Remember that the Dark Side known as the Straights are deadly serious. Negativity is their food. Humor was officially banned in 2022.Comedy clubs were closed down, books containing humor were burned and […]

Proud Dad Moments They don’t hand you an owner’s manual. The feedback loop is a little wonky at best. Your intentions are good. You do your best, but how do you know? The text read, “Just so you know before I tell you this, I’m caught up on my studies. But I won 9 beers […]

“Who Buys a Used Safe?” Calhoun Gildihorn was sure of that one, even if he wasn’t sure of much as he circled to park. Today was Full Album Friday on his favorite station. “Yellow Submarine” was on, adding irony to his drive. That he also knew, plus he knew he was full. His stomach tidal […]

Wes Anderson at Rosalita’s Cantina She’s sitting in a booth wrapping silverware in paper napkins when I walk in. When she sees me, a curious expression crosses her face. Part irritation like, “Can’t you see I’m working here?” and part surprise as in, “You want to eat here in spite of the well-publicized risks?” But […]

A 1992 Ford F150, that was the truck my grandpa would pick me up in. The seats were brown, half leather and half cloth, and quite comfortable. The most remarkable thing about that truck was that it had two gas tanks. With the flip of a button, the needle would swing wild from E to […]

December 2019 – The End of an Era Empty. Quiet. Lonely. After 55-years, all that remains now are echoes of fading memories and smells. I stand just inside the front door of the house I grew up in, looking at a room that used to be filled with furniture. Over there, a dining room table. […]

The Attack of Ugly-Crying Lynne, my wife of almost three decades had been dead for three days and my sons and I hadn’t gone out much. On January 1st of 2018, my two sons and I chose to see the latest Star Wars movie. The night was cold, the line was long and the popcorn […]

Sullen Sullen – that’s how we called it.  Their walk. Their eyes.  They was creatures to be pitied.  They didn’t like being put out to pasture in the rain, but it was great fun for us.  Even, maybe especially, ’cause we weren’t supposed to be out in the rain. Thanksgiving was just another day at the rural orphanage.  Eugene thought it […]

The Old Man and The Cheese His fungused fingernails peeled back the thin layer of petrified rind that couldn’t quite hide the mold forming on his sliver of bleu d’Auvergne. He was old and rickety and had sought refuge from the blistering sun under a barren ocotillo shrub. Surely no creatures in this desolate landscape […]

I woke up on December 11, 2019 and I wasn’t dead. When staying alive is your goal, you might do a few things to prevent your death. Or maybe not. When I was a little kid, I had a seizure and was diagnosed with a form of epilepsy.  I was not allowed to climb trees, play […]

Once on a Bus Life happens all around us … every single day. Most days, we don’t even see it. Occasionally we do. On rare days, we are it. Fully alive, thoroughly soaking up the sun, lever wide open. My childhood school days started and ended with a 40-minute ride on a boxy, hardseated, bumpy […]

You step off the bus, some two hours from Palermo. You finger the return schedule in your pocket. Lercara Fridi has no welcome center. Your feet follow your eyes to a florist who features local ceramics. The owner greets you in the language you practiced for months but can only scrape basic meanings. Like listening […]

Transcript of YouTube speech by Carol Williams Max Planck, quantum theorist and Nobel prize winner said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Max wasn’t an ad man, he was observing and theorizing about the fundamental nature of the universe. He saw that the very act of […]

Mall Walking 101      Confession: I am a mall walker.      Why do I feel the need to fess up?      I’m…not…sure.      However, when someone asks about my exercise routine, I tell them that I lift a few weights and take a walk every morning. When it’s a nice day I take a stroll near home and, when […]

English River sounds more romantic than Ignace. Especially Upsala. Being halfway between where you were and where you are going happens all the time, figuratively. The opportunity to pinpoint this middle ground physically, during a giant lifestyle change is not so easy to jab with a pin. When you can zero in on one location, […]

The Tontine The clock of life is wound but once,And no man has the powerTo tell just when the hands will stopAt late or early hour.To lose one’s wealth is sad indeed,To lose one’s health is more,To lose one’s soul is such a lossThat no man can restore.The present only is our own,So live, love, […]

Peddler George When my brothers and I caught sight of the horse and buggy coming down the road, we raced to meet it.  Our excitement increased as the old man pulled into our driveway.  The whole family gathered around to greet Peddler George and his buggy full of wares. Sometimes George took the harness off his old […]

Behind the Scenes in Heaven Standard Operating Procedure says, “once it’s created, throw away the mold.” So, God must have been pretty pleased with Himself as He tucked this blueprint into a hidey-hole for safe keeping. March 29, 1958, God gleefully fetched the blueprint and handed it off to the Guardian Angel of Roy H. […]

A Close Call  It’s never a good idea to leave an eight year old unsupervised for very long. July, the sun was up early and so was I not wanting to waste a minute of my school holidays. After saying goodbye through the car window and my parents driving  away my mind quickly dismissed the […]

The Embarrassing Honeymoon Jock-itch Story And Why it Taught Me the Single Most Important Lesson of My Copywriting Career I don’t want my wife to murder me in my sleep, so let me be clear. My wife did NOT give me jock-itch on our honeymoon. No. I’d gotten altitude sickness a few days early. The […]

Lottery June 8th. That’s my birthday. We Gemini’s are known to party. And party is what I’m gonna do tonight. Know why? Because even though it’s not my birthday, New Year’s Eve, Christmas, Halloween, or St. Paddy’s Day, today is bigger than all of them put together. Yep, today, December 1, 1969, was the draft […]

Logical wisdom among counselors is, “Do what you love. Follow your passion.” But America’s prisons are full of people who did exactly that. People who say “Follow your passion” assume that passion is the bridge to commitment, success, and happiness. But experience teaches us precisely the opposite; passion does not lead to commitment. Commitment leads to passion. […]

“In logic, an argument can be invalid even if its conclusion is true, and an argument can be valid even if its conclusion is false. It’s a confusing concept, and people are easily fooled when an argument’s validity and believability don’t match up, especially in the case of invalid arguments with conclusions that are believable. […]

I’m often credited for being a great father.  If that’s true, it’s not because I’m a great example what to do, but more of an example of what not to do. I have never taken an illegal drug and I was 21, working in a nightclub as a barback when I took my first sip […]

I envy those that swim the deep water. I blame my brother.  I mean there’s got to be someone to blame, right?  But he really should have known better.  God he was a cocky one.  He must have been about thirteen, which would put me somewhere near six-years old.  He swore he could get me to the island.  Who was I […]

“Who buys a used safe?” Calhoun Gildihorn was sure of that one, even if he wasn’t sure of much as he circled to park. Today was Full Album Friday on his favorite station. “Yellow Submarine” was on, adding irony to his drive. That he also knew, plus he knew he was full. His stomach tidal […]

It was a beautiful day, azure sky punctuated with cotton ball clouds and a sun so bright you needed to shield your eyes as if someone was arc-welding. My first thought was to grab a cup of coffee, a good book and go out on the screened-in porch and curl up in a big chair. […]

I look around and see my men, nervously puffing cigarettes faster than they can buy them. Fear and reluctant excitement thicken the air. We’ve logged hundreds of hours in this steel tube and flown clear across the ocean, but never into enemy territory.  The stories from returning crews are either heroic or tragic. There is […]

Here We Go Again: VL2020 Wouldn’t it be lovely to reset yourself, to gain absolute control of your future? Now you can—trust me. Why bother, you say, since the body replaces its cells every 7-10 years? True, however, brain cells keep multiplying and need pruning and reconfiguring. That’s why my new app This is Your […]

Three Ideas that Explain Who You Are 1: You are the product of your genetic code, hardwired to behave in certain ways. 2: You are the product of your environment, the sum total of your influences. 3: You are the product of your choices. It is your preferences, not your surroundings, that define you. I believe […]

I want to come to the Wizard Academy and marinate in the secret sauce you’ve concocted, the stuff that creates such tasty storytellers. I want to write good, thought-provoking posts that will engage readers  and I think you could really help sharpen my pencil.  Here’s a story about a gift that took 50 years to […]

Opening Chapter of The Temple (an allegory of the Fall of Adam) The Hydrox breathed darkfire that sucked the light out of the cave. Adam’s diamond sword Gleamer refused to be sucked into the darkfire breath. Adam swung the sword and the light within the sword extended beyond its size and reached to the Hydrox, forcing a […]

Modern Love I´d rather get a toothache than perspective 2017 was the year I went around wishing I would die. My eleven year marriage to the man I had loved since I was 18 had fallen apart, and I did not have horses or men to put it back together again. What remained after the […]

Pink Skies at Night It was probably illegal, yet still I clambered out into an opening of Chapel Rock along the Pictured Rocks of Lake Superior and wedged myself into position of mediation. Then again, it was after Labor Day and the trolls had returned below the bridge. I had the bay all to myself. […]

 Tandem  Miguel’s arms were short. Too short. He was always rolling up his cuffs, and he was never picked for basketball. Why couldn’t he have arms like Jack? Instead he had inherited his mother’s short stature and his grandfather’s thick eyebrows. Jack, on the other hand, had gotten the best of everything. Long legs, long […]

We are going to print one copy of this commemorative book for each guest at our May 2nd event. It will be full-color throughout and a fat 8 x 8 inches with 132 pages including a detailed explanation of all the symbols hidden throughout the campus. And there are LOTS of them. (The 52 full-page […]