“If you’re like me, you whip out your phone to look up a recipe. Unfortunately, this is where things usually go horribly wrong, because it’s never that simple.”
“Nine times out of 10, clicking on a recipe search result will rarely give you the actual recipe right up front. Instead, you’re stuck reading (see: ‘panic-scrolling’) through someone’s exhausting life story about how, when she was a little girl, and it was raining outside, her grandmother would always make her this particular meatball dish to make her feel better. You see, it was a recipe passed down through the generations via storytelling and interpretive dance, because (“lol”) her family didn’t believe in writing anything down.”
“Oh, the whimsical nostalgia she always feels when making this dish is soul-warming… she just has so many feelings to share that are meant tug on your heart strings and…”
“Alright, enough. We get it. I don’t care. I just need a shopping list. Get to the ingredients.”
“I refuse to contribute to this ridiculous trend in content. (Seriously, ‘foodies’ — I need you to get better at getting to the point of what the heck I need to buy and do to make some halfway decent freaking meatballs without the autobiography.)”